Serious Topic: Bad Spoons

It’s officially fall! This year I’ve decided it’s my favourite season (overtaking spring, though if it were spring right now, I’d probably like that too). Fall is a time of hot chocolate, hearty soup and chili. These are by far the most delicious things. There is nothing more wonderful than finally eating a homemade soup you slaved over all morning or afternoon.

With these tasty edibles comes the triumphant return of the spoon as a common meal utensil.

I hate to waste anything, though, and therein lies the problem. I have two spoons that I hate more than any other spoons (with the exception of the haunted flower spoon from growing up). Here they are:

I actually hate these spoons.

Worst. Spoons. EVER.

Miklos doesn’t discriminate against spoons, gosh darn his little heart. So when he accidentally plunks one of the two worst spoons on the planet into my comfort food, it’s unlikely he notices until my eye begins to twitch and a familiar guttural noise begins its crescendo from within my throat.

Standout reasons I hate these spoons:

  1. They’re thicker than the others.
  2. They’re heavy.
  3. The ridiculous smooth-then-pointy part of the one on the left. Are you smooth or are you trying to stab me in the hand?!
  4. Feel weird against my mouth (I want to throw up just thinking about it).
  5. I have no idea where they came from, and that, like most unknowns, scares me.

Miklos has insisted I throw these spoons out. Who does that? Surely someone in Africa would die for even a terrible spoon. Who throws out a perfectly usable spoon? I’d rather stir my hearty pot-cooked dishes with a crummy spoon than waste a good one on it (though if I do use a good spoon, I will sometimes save it to use with my meal anyway).

So with this in mind, I keep them as stirring spoons. But I loathe them so.

I might bend them into hooks for our kitchen, come to think of it. They’re so thick I’ll have to use Miklos Sr’s pipe-bender.

Another thing: Miklos likes to give me teaspoons to eat ice cream with. I love him for the ice cream, but I just don’t get the teaspoon thing. Sure I’m a delicate flower, but I want all the ice cream, now please. That requires 3x the surface area in a spoon. It’s nobody’s fault. It’s just science.

Here is another utensil that I’m not overly fond of, but by comparison, I am OK with:

Least favourite fork

And fork you too!

I think this came from Miklos’s parents’ house. I don’t know why it’s here. I like it well enough to eat with, but I rarely use it.  It’s a pasta-testing fork, generally. We can probably return it to them, now that I recognize where it’s from.

So that’s the story of the utensils I hate.

Surely you have a similar spoon, fork, knife, cup or bowl you feel the same about. Tell me about it in the comments!

About Nikki

I've been writing since I was in kindergarten where I Crayola-markered an epic tale of a tiger and a balloon on a stack of lined papers folded into a booklet and stapled along the edge (carefully, and by my teacher). I love DIY, sewing, folksy music, animals and getting out to look at and listen to nature.
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