A while back, we got a dog. My family had several dogs when I was growing up, and I guess I must have been spoiled because they were the best dogs in the universe. Our dog now is adorable, funny, sweet — you can’t help but feel like a total a-hole for no reason when you look into her sad little brown eyes. She is also the most destructive dog I have ever known. She’s a yellow lab and her name is Casey. Imagine Marley & Me, and then imagine that in real life where it costs money to replace things, and remember that in movie time, it only took two hours for the dog to kick over. Now, I’m not saying I want her dead (far from it), but I am saying “My god, we have to live with this dog for another 10 years at least.”
Everything you buy this dog costs $30 at a time, and she destroys it within minutes. A few days ago I decided to chance putting her chewed up pillow back into her crate because I felt bad for her sleeping on a cold empty crate floor. This time, I figured, I’d spray it with Bitter Apple, because the adolescent girl working at the pet store told me it works great. Apparently she doesn’t own a labrador.
Before we leave, we always make sure she has two or three toys to play with in her crate so that she doesn’t get bored if she wakes up. We came home today from a couple hours out eating and shopping, and this enormous comfy pillow was totally destroyed. Torn up cover. Fluff everywhere. Her rawhide bone, rope toy, and Kong were untouched however. Bitter Apple my ass.
So anyway, here’s my advice. If you want a dog who does not cover your house with dog hair despite you brushing her daily, doesn’t destroy everything she sees even though she has a MILLION good toys, and isn’t totally fussy about everything she eats, do not ever get a lab. And if you do happen to have a lab, do not buy them any toys, pillows or use any blankets you ever plan to not have devoured, because I guarantee you it will take 7 seconds for her to get the urge to ruin them.
But really, I love her. If she would just keep looking cute all the time and not eating her way through our credit card limits, we’d be BFFs. She’s so fun to play in the park with and take swimming. I just cannot wait til she’s out of puppy mode. Can. Not. Wait. Anyone need a bunch of dog pillow fluff?