I was pretty sure I couldn’t do it, but it only took me from 2pm until now to read the three disgustingly long chapters I needed to, with just one break to eat a [horrible] packet of Thai noodles [that cook up like Mr Noodles which has sent my stomach into an effervescent spiral of hellishness] so that I didn’t starve. I should’ve just eaten dirt off the kitchen floor. Plenty for all!

This morning, I enjoyed breakfast with Garth. That was a nice switch! Breakfast is the greatest meal because it is delicious, feels right with coffee, and is cheap. Especially when your friend pays for you because he feels sorry for you because you’re moaning about all the wrong in your life. You’re cool, Garth!

I want chips now.