while staring into space

I have to stop torturing myself. I realize that. The more I read this, the more it seems like foreshadowing. I miss her so much. She’ll be with all of us, always, but if there’s ever such a thing as time travel, I’m going back to last week to call her up so that none of this ever happened.

Because You Care
Written by Ellie, Monday January 26, 2009 @ 12:00am

1. The more urgent or important a letter looks, the more I don’t open it.

2. I’m white

3. I resent Brand Power Lady because my boyfriend has a crush on her.

4. I am going to look at a Jeep. Soon

5. Refuse to buy triscuits as they once endorsed Rachel Ray. You are next, Dunkin.

6. I wish that Alex would visit me.

7.” When she goes to sleep, diabetes is there. When she goes to school, it’s there. And when she plays soccer, its really there. Except on the 4th of July when it goes out to a party.”

8. I don’t like my wings saucy

9. Hi, I’m Ellie

10. I have a shirt that says “I love NikkiP” and I wear it every day under my clothes.

11. I have a big trunk full of goodies

12. If you ever buy me lilies I will likely throw you into the canal (roses or nothing)

13. I’m romantic. Violent and romantic.

14. Wuthering Heights makes me cry

15. I gaged how much I was growing up by the intervals of time that elapsed between the times I fell over.

16. I can recite Arrested Development scripts

17. I am not looking forward to this week at all.

18. Sometimes I wake up in the morning just to see Monica, Rhonda, Karen and Jess at school and get tea with them.


20. In 3 months time I might not live in Ontario

21. I hate pickles!!!

22. I have various no-touch zones that are not to be touched.

23. I give things obvious names.

24. I was born to be bad. No, actually I’m timid. Like a little koala bear.

25. For the most part I agree with everything on the list of 100 most irritating things in Britain. James Blunt is #4.

I had to post this here. I’ll stop being depressed and depressing soon, I promise. I just can’t believe the difference a few hours can make, or even a few seconds. And I would never have believed that things in life could be so painful. There are so many things that happened today alone that I would’ve been texting her about because she was the one who’d get the biggest kick out of it.

About Nikki

I've been writing since I was in kindergarten where I Crayola-markered an epic tale of a tiger and a balloon on a stack of lined papers folded into a booklet and stapled along the edge (carefully, and by my teacher). I love DIY, sewing, folksy music, animals and getting out to look at and listen to nature.
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