Death & All His Friends

We all do it eventually, but there’s something about dying that seems totally unfair to me.  Something besides the never seeing anyone you love again or their ever again seeing you.  It’s that, as a storyteller, I will never be able to sum up my death in a few (or a bunch of) words, or make a joke about its irony if applicable.  I don’t by any means want people to joke about my death (you jerks), but as someone like me would tend to … Continue reading


A long time ago, when I was much angrier or at least cared more, some idiot commented on my blog in all his pretentiousness and [in all likelihood only] criticized me for writing about the ‘minutiae of my life’ [because it made him feel all warm and special inside to say a word containing more than three vowels in it]. He made his statement that no one cared but me. And you know, that’s true. It is. No one does care about this stuff, except … Continue reading

I have to stop torturing myself. I realize that. The more I read this, the more it seems like foreshadowing. I miss her so much. She’ll be with all of us, always, but if there’s ever such a thing as time travel, I’m going back to last week to call her up so that none of this ever happened. Because You CareWritten by Ellie, Monday January 26, 2009 @ 12:00am 1. The more urgent or important a letter looks, the more I don’t open it. … Continue reading

Happy Autumn!

Hello waste of time and taxpayers’ money minority-government from yesterday back again today, hello! Today I was wondering where this jerk, who always bought a lot of lottery and was always a dick to everyone he talked to at my store, had been lately. Well, it turns out, sometimes bad people die. Disorienting though, since he didn’t seem unhealthy, just rude and mean-spirited and self-absorbed and in love with spending money on the hope that he might one day actually win money. (To buy friends?) … Continue reading

This just in:

One of my fish who I noticed was missing all day has turned up dead. Well, half of him has, but I haven’t got much hope for the rest of him. So far, a string of a fish body has surfaced from beneath one of the plastic aquarium plants. The rest of his body and his head are yet to be found. Considering the other fish are only slightly larger than he was, and that they’re not really aggressive, and that they’ve lived with him … Continue reading

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