101 Things You Never Cared to Learn and Why Didn’t I Make This a Numbered List?

I suppose I should write an entry!  How about a list of things about me?

  • I have a horrible sense of smell which is most of the time absent. When I can smell, it is usually dog-related and unpleasant, but I can also smell lavender and sometimes I can smell everything. ¬†Right now, my hand smells like onions, but I haven’t eaten any onions and I definitely showered earlier.
  • I only enjoy parts of George Carlin’s humour. ¬†Most of what I know about him I learned on Shining Time Station, however.
  • Although tall and lanky, traits generally perceived as wimpy, I have this weird habit of being very scary to people. ¬†I think it’s my bitchy eyes or my bitchy brain, but you be the judge!
  • Antiques Roadshow is a little too addictive for me.
  • Strangely for a person with the above quality, so is the show¬†Dexter.
  • I can draw, sometimes.
  • Music is highly enjoyable but I (truly) suck at every aspect of it except for listening to it. ¬†I’m not even good at going to shows. ¬†Am I supposed to enjoy myself or stand there looking cool because I’m watching an obscure band who none of my friends have heard of?
  • I had two (or three, if you count Cody, who ran in front of a car at 6 months) dogs as a child, but I am a cat person. ¬†Why? ¬†I’m neglectful and cats like that about me.
  • It really annoys me that I had 2246 “unknown” [read: bot] views on my Flickr account the other day, because now my graph looks like a pile of garbage where 54 views are the same as 195. ¬†See:

    54 views = 195 views

  • Most of the conversations with girls that I know go like so:
    ME: “A guy almost crashed into my car on the way here! ¬†He didn’t even have license plates! ¬†If that guy hit me and took off, I’d be screwed, AND paralyzed.”
    ANY GIRL: “You think THAT’S bad, well I have to work a Saturday! ¬†You don’t have to work Saturdays at all this month!” ¬†[meanwhile I would normally work every Saturday of the year except this month for some reason, and I work every Sunday.]
    ME: “Well… yeah I guess. ¬†Didn’t you just have a four-day weekend?”
    ANY GIRL: “Pff, yeah, but I had to spend it cleaning my HOUSE.”
    ME: “Oh okay. ¬†My sister had her baby.”
    ANY GIRL: “You think THAT’S bad, my sister’s having her baby next Saturday and I have to WORK.”
  • ¬†Daisies are better than roses. ¬†Roses are stupid and usually guys who make giant mistakes will give you roses because they have a lot more money than sense. ¬†The guys without money who give you roses, I just feel bad about. ¬†I mean, they tried, right? ¬†The only roses I liked were stolen out of a flower delivery truck for me by the delivery guy as I ran [screaming?] through an alley as a florist began to walk toward me I assume to inquire about whether or not the driver stole those expensive roses for me.
  • I don’t know how to keep list items short.
  • Robert Downey Jr, I really wish you didn’t make that first Sherlock Holmes movie. ¬†You were perfect before that wasted couple of hours of my life. ¬†I’m sure you made some money though, so okay, you done good.
  • The stock market.
  • I am reading “I Drink for a Reason” by David Cross. ¬†He reminds me of every smart + mean person I know, but I still like the book.
  • Despite the fact listed above, I was not a huge Arrested Development fan. ¬†Everything else always seemed to be distracting me when that show was on. ¬†One day, I will probably watch all the episodes again and be a big fan.
  • Mixi is now my favourite cat, even though she died in a fireplace in my dream last night.
  • Garlic goes in everything I cook. ¬†I do not bake much for this reason.
  • I realize the below picture is of tulips, even though I just said daisies are best. ¬†Tulips are great, they just don’t last as long.



About Nikki

I've been writing since I was in kindergarten where I Crayola-markered an epic tale of a tiger and a balloon on a stack of lined papers folded into a booklet and stapled along the edge (carefully, and by my teacher). I love DIY, sewing, folksy music, animals and getting out to look at and listen to nature.
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