101 Things You Never Cared to Learn and Why Didn’t I Make This a Numbered List?

I suppose I should write an entry!  How about a list of things about me?

  • I have a horrible sense of smell which is most of the time absent. When I can smell, it is usually dog-related and unpleasant, but I can also smell lavender and sometimes I can smell everything.  Right now, my hand smells like onions, but I haven’t eaten any onions and I definitely showered earlier.
  • I only enjoy parts of George Carlin’s humour.  Most of what I know about him I learned on Shining Time Station, however.
  • Although tall and lanky, traits generally perceived as wimpy, I have this weird habit of being very scary to people.  I think it’s my bitchy eyes or my bitchy brain, but you be the judge!
  • Antiques Roadshow is a little too addictive for me.
  • Strangely for a person with the above quality, so is the show Dexter.
  • I can draw, sometimes.
  • Music is highly enjoyable but I (truly) suck at every aspect of it except for listening to it.  I’m not even good at going to shows.  Am I supposed to enjoy myself or stand there looking cool because I’m watching an obscure band who none of my friends have heard of?
  • I had two (or three, if you count Cody, who ran in front of a car at 6 months) dogs as a child, but I am a cat person.  Why?  I’m neglectful and cats like that about me.
  • It really annoys me that I had 2246 “unknown” [read: bot] views on my Flickr account the other day, because now my graph looks like a pile of garbage where 54 views are the same as 195.  See:

    54 views = 195 views

  • Most of the conversations with girls that I know go like so:
    ME: “A guy almost crashed into my car on the way here!  He didn’t even have license plates!  If that guy hit me and took off, I’d be screwed, AND paralyzed.”
    ANY GIRL: “You think THAT’S bad, well I have to work a Saturday!  You don’t have to work Saturdays at all this month!”  [meanwhile I would normally work every Saturday of the year except this month for some reason, and I work every Sunday.]
    ME: “Well… yeah I guess.  Didn’t you just have a four-day weekend?”
    ANY GIRL: “Pff, yeah, but I had to spend it cleaning my HOUSE.”
    ME: “Oh okay.  My sister had her baby.”
    ANY GIRL: “You think THAT’S bad, my sister’s having her baby next Saturday and I have to WORK.”
  •  Daisies are better than roses.  Roses are stupid and usually guys who make giant mistakes will give you roses because they have a lot more money than sense.  The guys without money who give you roses, I just feel bad about.  I mean, they tried, right?  The only roses I liked were stolen out of a flower delivery truck for me by the delivery guy as I ran [screaming?] through an alley as a florist began to walk toward me I assume to inquire about whether or not the driver stole those expensive roses for me.
  • I don’t know how to keep list items short.
  • Robert Downey Jr, I really wish you didn’t make that first Sherlock Holmes movie.  You were perfect before that wasted couple of hours of my life.  I’m sure you made some money though, so okay, you done good.
  • The stock market.
  • I am reading “I Drink for a Reason” by David Cross.  He reminds me of every smart + mean person I know, but I still like the book.
  • Despite the fact listed above, I was not a huge Arrested Development fan.  Everything else always seemed to be distracting me when that show was on.  One day, I will probably watch all the episodes again and be a big fan.
  • Mixi is now my favourite cat, even though she died in a fireplace in my dream last night.
  • Garlic goes in everything I cook.  I do not bake much for this reason.
  • I realize the below picture is of tulips, even though I just said daisies are best.  Tulips are great, they just don’t last as long.



About Nikki

I've been writing since I was in kindergarten where I Crayola-markered an epic tale of a tiger and a balloon on a stack of lined papers folded into a booklet and stapled along the edge (carefully, and by my teacher). I love DIY, sewing, folksy music, animals and getting out to look at and listen to nature.
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