Tag: douchy kids

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Never Growing Up = Better Children’s Author? Hm. Makey Sensey.

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I found an interesting article on author Margaret Wise Brown today, who wrote Goodnight Moon.  It spoke of how she wasn’t particularly fond of children, but was more like a child herself.  From the article: Is it possible that the most inspired children’s book writers never grow up? By that I don’t mean that they understand or have special affection or affinity toward children, but that they don’t understand adulthood, and I mean that in the best possible sense. It may be that they haven’t … Continue reading

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TOTES LEGIT AWKWARD!!!

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There’s something about every word kids use today that makes me feel like an old person who knows words too well to want to listen to them poorly utilized.  Here is a list of words I would be happy never to hear again: Awkward Legit Epic [Not a word, but a phrase:] “In all honesty…” “For real” Bro Totes Toight (like tight, with an inserted ‘o’, for the old people reading) Vajeen (gross) And although it’s not on the list, you kids are totes ruining … Continue reading

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Not a creature was stirring, not even a …

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I dedicate this poem to the lowly critter we caught trying to steal hubcaps from a vehicle in the driveway last night. He left at the scene (1) a screwdriver, (2) the hubcap he meant to take with him, (3) a freshly picked tomato from the garden, and (4) a sullied reputation. And Miklos in his kerchief (or the bathroom) and I in my cap (or PJs),We’d just settled down (or were about to) for a long summer’s nap (or sleep);When out of the yard, … Continue reading

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Can I have your couch?

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3:30 is decidedly the worst time to be on the bus. Between the fat children intentionally barking like dogs, spouting swearwords in order to irritate the driver, and the sardine can-esque personal space factor, I rarely enjoy a 3:30 trip home. I would even go as far as to say that when I start paying out the ass for a car in a couple of months, I probably will not miss the 3:30 bus all that much. I have too much to talk about this … Continue reading

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Cruisin’ for a Bruisin’

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Ever have your car graffiti’d? ‘Cause it turned out that I had the other night. Actually, so was everyone who parked on the street treated to a delightfully scribbled tag that probably signifies absolutely nothing aside from sheer sans-dickery on the side or back of their auto. Among the conclusions I’ve come to in the past year is that St Catharines’ kids need to develop hoop dreamz or something to keep themselves otherwise occupied. I thought all hope was gone until my mother tried the … Continue reading