Tag: funny

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Oh, DJ Jojo. Where are you when it’s not Saturday morning?

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There’s this awesome guy in a yellow Corvette who circles the Falls some (all?) nights and, I imagine, pops one giant boner after another as people turn their heads to look at his car. The great thing is, Miklos and Pearl noticed him last year, and the guy still takes the same route around the Falls. He also looks around and around as he drives at an appropriate speed to make sure everyone is taking an envious glance at his high-performance ‘wheels’. This guy is … Continue reading

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But yeah so no.

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Boston Pizza tonight with Miklos. A crazy old bag lady with a shopping cart from Zellers came in the door at the same time we did, and dazedly wheeled herself into the washroom for the exact duration of time we spent there. The waitresses joked that we could take her home now, since she clearly came in with us. “Yeah, that’s my mom…” I said, later joking that I’d text her and get her outta there. A towel on your head is no way to … Continue reading

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With a little help from my friends…

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The “After Nikki’s Non-Existent But Seemingly Apparent Car Alarm Honked 85 Times and Woke the Neighbourhood Up” Drive-Home Playlist: Guess Who – Sour Suite Crosby, Stills & Nash – Suite: Judy Blue Eyes The Beatles – Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band/With a Little Help From My Friends Nirvana – Dumb This is after my mp3 player read that its battery was full and, just moments later, decided on its own that it was empty after all. What a good bunch of songs that turned … Continue reading

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You’ve come a long way, baby.

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I haven’t typed in some of my passwords in so long that once my cache decides to kill itself, I’ll never be able to log in again. Did my speech, blew the professor away. I have “the presence of a stand-up comic” and my sense of humour is “great”. Both, true stories. I hate to admit it, but compliments give me a bit of a turbo charge. I was like Robin Williams for the next few hours, hairy and surely annoying the shit out of … Continue reading

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Cruisin’ for a Bruisin’

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Ever have your car graffiti’d? ‘Cause it turned out that I had the other night. Actually, so was everyone who parked on the street treated to a delightfully scribbled tag that probably signifies absolutely nothing aside from sheer sans-dickery on the side or back of their auto. Among the conclusions I’ve come to in the past year is that St Catharines’ kids need to develop hoop dreamz or something to keep themselves otherwise occupied. I thought all hope was gone until my mother tried the … Continue reading

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