Just now as I was about to gather my clothes from the laundry room, I stepped out of my apartment and gasped. “RICO!” I scolded, as the cat bounded back down the hall to greet me. How the hell did he get out of my place? A girl appeared in the hall walking toward me with a smile, and it hit me. Those familiar white sock paws, that tabby fur and rascally appearance… it wasn’t Rico at all. It was the cat across the hall … Continue reading

The Elevator Times

Just now on the way up from the laundry room, I held the elevator for a couple of weirdos. “Laundry day, eh?” said the girl, looking at the basket I held in my hands.“Yep… best day of the week,” I mused.“Yeaaaah!” said the girl. “Get ya clean clothes, go out ‘n party??”“…you got it.” My neighbours know me so well. Share the post “The Elevator Times” FacebookTwitterShare… Continue reading

Not a creature was stirring, not even a …

I dedicate this poem to the lowly critter we caught trying to steal hubcaps from a vehicle in the driveway last night. He left at the scene (1) a screwdriver, (2) the hubcap he meant to take with him, (3) a freshly picked tomato from the garden, and (4) a sullied reputation. And Miklos in his kerchief (or the bathroom) and I in my cap (or PJs),We’d just settled down (or were about to) for a long summer’s nap (or sleep);When out of the yard, … Continue reading

(You had to be there) AKA (For my own memory’s sake)

Hidden and periodically updated notes; I did a similar “Note to Self” type memo when I was 8; I found it when I was around 15 and laughed at how ghey I was. “It smells like a pencil…” “What kind of tree is that?” “A weed maple.” “Hey, Larry David! Can you sign my arm?” *Randy signs arm ‘RANDY’, shrugs and walks away* Better get to bed. Work in the morning again. Ugh. Life. Share the post “(You had to be there) AKA (For my … Continue reading


I have this tendency to laugh like hell when I’m in high-drama situations. And not a nervous giggly laugh. More like a haughty and amused laugh of adrenaline, accompanied by a large and overbearing smile which is probably scary and/or confusing to those around me. Honestly, I’m sure I prefer it to the other options people face — panic attacks, fainting, rage leading to violence, utopian bliss, nausea, heartburn, indigestion — I’m just not quite sure where I came to develop this sort of reaction. … Continue reading

China’s not the same as Chinatown

It’s COLD. What is happening here! /mild freak-out A fat, dirty, slimebucketly man stole a Toblerone chocolate bar tonight at my store when he thought no one was looking. But I was looking. I was looking as he lifted the back of his unwashed windbreaker jacket and shoved the prism-shaped carton into the ass-crack of his filthy jeans. This was a chocolate bar his debit had declined moments earlier. He then walked up when he felt the coast was clear, and actually paid for a … Continue reading

The Smell & the Wolverine

Nik says: SPEAKING of smell sweet jesus that guy at X-Men Wolverine tonight? fuck my life! this guy looked like he was straight out of a Dungeons and Dragons matchdan says: Who would think a comic book guy would have B.O.?!Nik says: HAD A GIRLFRIEND, so there’s officially now hope for EVERYBODY and every time a laugh was had, a foul odour of sweaty feet, b.o., and general filth would waft its awful way in our direction it got to the point where we bought … Continue reading

Carpus Maximus

I was standing at the gas pump at 7-Eleven just now, noticing my transaction was only up to about $3 when I’d been standing there for about as many minutes. An old man staggered out of the store and walked toward his car, looking at me rather suspiciously, as if to want to ask something. I said to him, “Did you find the pump was really slow?” Suddenly, gas station chaos ensued. Voices from behind every pump started cursing the crawling rate of gasoline flow. … Continue reading

Rebel L

Hey, I’m supposed to get up at like… oh, I dunno, 9am and shower and proceed working on my macadamia academic assignment thing, but man. It’s just not feeling like bedtime yet. Sure, my eyelids are like 10 pound weights (and in eyelid weight, that’s like benching a small elephant), but I feel like there’s just so much to catch up on. Like uploading some new photos for once, and linking you to Miklos.ca because we got to try out a 20mm lens his friend … Continue reading

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