Author: Nik

I'm a mom. I've been writing since I was in kindergarten where I Crayola-markered an epic tale of a tiger and a balloon on a stack of lined papers folded into a booklet and stapled along the edge (carefully, and by my teacher).
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11 Ways You and I Might Be Different

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Me: Quick to anger when confronted by rudeness for no apparent reason. You: Maybe not so much. My favourite bands/musicians include Joel Plaskett, Beck, Ben Folds, Queens of the Stone Age, Neil Young, and the long-defunct Local Rabbits. I have a Rico Cat. I am extremely good at math, but I want to be a writer. I like to read Bukowski books, even though I am generally not fond of drinking heavily and taking prostitutes into my home for purposes other than prostitution, or even… Continue reading

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This is it, here we go

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Listen, Jim. This is a beautiful life. The life of a student on vacation just working and quickly getting poorer by the second. (You do not need to buy this you do not need to buy that STOP BUYING THINGS!) Reading, writing, recycling because no one else goes to the parking garage as often as you do. Burning gasoline to see your family. Preaching conservation and leaving the water on while you shave in the shower. Too hot with sweater, too cold without sweater. This… Continue reading

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Happy Autumn!

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Hello waste of time and taxpayers’ money minority-government from yesterday back again today, hello! Today I was wondering where this jerk, who always bought a lot of lottery and was always a dick to everyone he talked to at my store, had been lately. Well, it turns out, sometimes bad people die. Disorienting though, since he didn’t seem unhealthy, just rude and mean-spirited and self-absorbed and in love with spending money on the hope that he might one day actually win money. (To buy friends?)… Continue reading

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I’m not good enough at lying, so this is serious

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Around 2004, while I was living in Welland, a group of us were racing down a side street (running). I wasn’t fond of the idea, but everyone was trying to get into shape and I was just sort of there. Anyhow, I fell behind and decided to just walk to the end of the road, which ran parallel to some train tracks. There was an alleyway (if you can call it that) between two houses that took you from the street to the railroad tracks,… Continue reading

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I Can’t Get Behind That

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I can’t get behind: 13 cent jump overnight at the pumps for no reason Cogeco Cable (both television AND internet) Kim Mitchell Sarah Palin getting a cold summer ending I can get behind: Corner Gas tea selling textbooks for MONEY rainy days having my student debt reduced; hey hey hey! FudgeeOs wearing jackets again being done the last essay of my boring Labour Relations class Share the post “I Can’t Get Behind That” FacebookPinterestShare…Email Continue reading

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UR DOIN IT RONG

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Spent an unusually relaxing day in the sun at the family’s yesterday and got some colour (hopefully preventing that shaky old Jewish man who comes in to buy paper towels from heckling me about how ‘white’ I am). In lieu of this, today I got a bunch of errands and chores done and thought about just why I’m not taking some of my courses this semester and lightening the load for my final semester. (Other option is waiting until January til the ‘co-op semester’ is… Continue reading

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Squirrelly bastards!

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I caught a scammer the other day at work. After having read some tips that had been passed around by email to all the local stores, I was on-the-ball enough to call a supervisor when a younger guy, about 20, came in trying to buy $1000 worth of our store’s gift cards on a Visa card. I told him “Just a precaution,” and he said “No problem.” Of course, immediately after saying that it was no problem, he got a cell phone call and sounded… Continue reading

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You can be an asshole too!

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Do not: Tell me the whole grain bread you have is on sale when I know it’s not, and then ask me in an old Italian man accent “Why your computers not updated for the sale?” and then look caught in a lie when my coworker comes back and says “It was another kind of bread, not this one”, and then do not hand me an unsigned credit card to pay for the substitute sale bread (and your various other sale items) and then get… Continue reading

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Headphones on, listening to nothing.

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deathstar rocketboot. says:your voice is so sexy hahahadeathstar rocketboot. says:god damnitNik says:lol whatdeathstar rocketboot. says:you should be one mof those girls who talks on the phone late at nightNik says:hahahahhadeathstar rocketboot. says:your voice! its super sexy hahaNik says:well if HR doesn’t work outNik says:i’ve got a lucrative career at Quest ahead of me Share the post “Headphones on, listening to nothing.” FacebookPinterestShare…Email Continue reading

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Here’s what I’m at:

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Reading John Tesh’s Intelligence For Your Life website at 2am. Returning a crab today because the pet store lied to me about what living conditions it needs… cool! Hope all the other people who bought them also do their own research before their pets die. Waiting for my essay to be graded (we’re not expecting aces, kids) Anticipating the next season of Survivor and America’s Next Top Model because I’m at a loss for shows that rob my mind of all thought Hoping to go… Continue reading

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